Monday Mormon Myths and Truths (Women) #7

MONDAY, JUNE 17, 2013

Monday Mormon Myth's and Truths (Women) #7

Is the Relief Society one of the oldest and largest global women's organizations functioning in today's world? and what exactly is the LDS Relief Society?

Answer: YES, the LDS relief society was founded in 1842

As of today, there are over 5.5 million women who belong to the Relief Society spread throughout 170 countries across the world.

Any woman who is a member of the LDS church and is 18 years of age is a part of the Relief Society Organization.  Women with or without children, married or not married, young (18) or old, employed, or unemployed.  We meet to learn from and strengthen each other. We serve each other. The purpose of the Relief Society "is to build faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and to help those in need."

The Relief Society meets weekly in a class during Sunday meetings where we teach others the doctrines and principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is a time we meet during the week for activities. Usually, at these activities, we learn new skills or ways to help strengthen our faith and our families or do some type of compassionate service for an organization or family in need.

The Relief Society in each ward (I haven't been asked about wards or stakes yet) stake and the general Relief Society are all run by women; this is called the Relief Society Presidency--it consists of a President, two counselors, and a secretary. The RS president meets regularly with the bishop and the other ward leaders to discuss issues that may come up within their boundaries, and ways they can help or serve someone who needs special attention.  Someone like me, when I was going through my chemo treatments, the RS brought meals to my home, offered to clean my house, do laundry, and help in any way that we needed until I could do it myself.

In addition to the service, they give to one another and their neighbors who may not be members of the same faith. As sisters of the LDS church, watch over each other by visiting monthly in the homes with assigned partners to help provide countless hours of service, sometimes just a listening ear, to a mother who is exhausted from the daily trials that life sometimes brings.  This Visiting Teaching calling is said to be the most important calling a woman can hold in the church. I know this to be true. When I was so sick from chemo, the ladies from my ward and the stakes surrounding where I live brought food, they put up my Christmas tree and decorated it, and I know they did and still do pray for me daily, as I do for so many of them.

In a survey taken, about 40% of LDS women surveyed said that the role and influence of women in the church was the "right amount" The next closest faith measured was Evangelical Protestants, with only about 15% saying women had the "right amount" of leadership and influence in their church, followed by 10% of Anglo-Catholics and about 8% Jews.

In the LDS church, women sit side by side and vote to sustain members and leaders in their church callings (both men and women's callings) They regularly pray and give talks or sermons in meetings. Women teach adult gospel doctrine classes and other Sunday School classes. The women of the church are fully involved in all aspects of the work of the LDS church, from full time missionary work to member missionary work, temple, and family history work, and serving the needy.

Are the women demanded to follow the rules of the husband? and is it a hidden secret that men rule their wives?

ANSWER: A BIG FAT NO AND NO

One time I was at work and was approached by a woman who said in a very whispered voice, "Hey, if you need help getting away from your husband, I can help you. I can take you to a shelter." I remember looking at her and laughing. I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. To the LDS members, FAMILY is the most important calling of all, and we serve as equals to our husbands in making decisions, spiritually, physically, financially, and educationally. If you want to know the truth about Eric and I ask him who makes most family decisions around here.  Ha Ha, sadly he would say, "Go ask Monya." He and I have always made decisions together, we don't always agree on the way a situation should be dealt with, but we always come to an even conclusion together.  I have not once felt like I was threatened or looked down upon in my marriage, and in the LDS church, this is how the Lord designed marriage to be equal. One gender is not better than the other.  Many people may not know this, but the LDS women were involved in and in some ways led the US women's suffrage movement.  In 1870, Utah was the second territory (behind Wyoming) to grant women the right to vote under the law. After gaining statehood, Utah became the third state in the Union to give women equality.

In Genesis 1:26, God said equally to both Adam and Eve "Let them have dominion over all the earth."

The 1st presidency of the LDS church stated that men and women are equal partners in a marriage and family relationship. There is nowhere in LDS scripture or official doctrine of the LDS church that it indicates or teaches anything other than God seeing both genders as equal.  The LDS church does not embrace any type of doctrine which suggests otherwise.

Do LDS members believe there is a Heavenly Mother?

ANSWER: YES

The LDS church holds women in very spiritual high regard. We believe there is a Heavenly Father, so logically we believe there is a Heavenly Mother. One of my favorite LDS Hymns asks:

In the heav'ns are parents single?

No, the thought makes reason stare

Truth is the reason; truth eternal

Tells me I've a mother there

We believe we are all children of heavenly parents, and although we don't know much about our Heavenly Mother, she is evident in Mormon thought and theology.  One of the prophets of the church said "You women are daughters of God. You are precious.  You are made in the image of our Heavenly Mother."

The LDS church is not saying that Eve was not the first mother of the earth, but we praise her as the "glorious mother" of humanity and celebrate her decision in the Garden of Eden. We believe that Eve chose to move God's plan of salvation forward by partaking in the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Eve and Adam acted in a manner pleasing to God and did exactly what they were ordained to do.  The Mormon religion also believes that women can receive personal revelation and be filled with the spiritual knowledge that Jesus Christ wants them to have.

I believe, as most Mormons do, of all the creations on earth, women are God's crowning creation, His signature stroke in the masterpiece of the universe.

Hopefully, I have answered all the questions about women in the LDS church.

LABELS: FAITH, JOURNALING, MORMON MYTHS AND TRUTHS 

Curve Balls

 

SUNDAY, JUNE 16, 2013

Curve Balls

Man, life throws many curve balls, I was not expecting one that came flying at me last week.  I was Fired from my volunteer work.  Not the accomplishment I had expected, and it was devastating for me. I loved that job; I loved the people I worked with, and I especially loved all the patients who touched my life. I violated HIPAA law and took pictures of patients. First off, I just want to say they all had my permission to take their picture, and 2nd I would never post something about a patient without their consent. However, I recently had my blog redesigned, and all the journal entries I had written and drafted, were posted public without me knowing.

  They were written a year or year and a half ago, when I was asked not to mention the facility that I was volunteering for or the patients, I immediately drafted all of them for my children to have, and for myself to look back and remember. For those of you who do not know about drafting, it is a journal you write and never post for all to see but is kept secret and I eventually wanted my blog to be made into a book for my children, so I did as I was asked, and I took all the posts off my blog immediately.  To be honest, I have a ton of drafts, things I don't want the world to see but have saved for my family to read long after I'm dead and gone.

When I went to my "volunteer" job 2 weeks ago, I was called into a meeting where I was "let go" I was told if an employee had done this, they would be "let go," so they felt it was time for me to be "let go" I asked them if I could delete the entries. The answer was "you have 3 days to get them off your blog, or we will be forced to file a federal suit"  so sad, I took off my scrubs and handed in my badge out the door I went feeling like I had just been defeated by the world, I cried uncontrollably for hours, well actually the crying went on for days, I finally got it controlled to a slow tearful drip after a few days.  When I got home, I asked our attorney if this could happen to me; he said NO, that the facility I was volunteering for could not sue me for violating HIPAA laws the patient would have to be the one to sue me, --and since every one of those patients or their caregivers still email me regularly, (except for one), I contacted each person who I had ever posted about, got written permission from them or in a couple cases the patients had passed on, and I got permission from their caregivers, who by the way also asked me for a copy of what I had written, by this time I had already deleted them.  However, I told them once I had their written permission, I would send them a copy of what I had handwritten.  Each was so grateful, I had journaled, and each had already known about the experiences and the intimate talks I had with them, so it was not a surprise to any of them when I read the journaling to them.

 I'm not sure what this world is coming to, I do understand the HIPAA laws, and I do understand the right to have privacy, but I would never post something without first asking the patient. There was only one post that I had written that I felt was imposing without permission; names were never mentioned, and if this person had found it on the world wide web (1 in a billion) They could have guessed it was them I was talking about, but there were no pictures or proof.

I learned a lot from this experience, and although I think "they" were being a bit dramatic in their decision, I know the Lord has something else planned for me.  It's important for me to be in a place where I am not only needed but appreciated for the service I love to give.

Monday Mormon Myths and Truths #6

 

MONDAY, JUNE 10, 2013

Monday Mormon Myth's and Truths # 6

Picture taken from Mormon women

Some of my friends who are not LDS do not understand the devotion Mormon women give not only to their families, but to the Church. There is so much rage and negativity around us in today's world. So why is it that most Morman women are so happy? It is thought by LDS women that we have a divine calling to be a mother, to raise children our Heavenly Father has sent to us and entrusted to our care. Mormons believe the family is central to God's plan for the happiness of His children and family is the fundamental unit in society. With that being said, I can believe no work can be nobler than that of a mother, who rear and raise, nurse, and nurture their family. We also believe that all women, whether they have children or not, are mothers and divine, with an innate capacity to nurture, teach, and care for others.

So, what about women who don't marry or have children but would like to?
Many women don't have the opportunity to marry and bear or raise children. These women make up a large and significant portion of the LDS church and contribute equally to the Church and its programs.

Latter Day Prophets have repeatedly taught that those "whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and priesthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in eternities."

This is so hard for many women who want so badly to have a child of their own, but I honestly believe our Heavenly Father will provide motherhood to those who are obedient and continue to do good. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law could not conceive their own children, so they adopted four children to complete their family and bless our extended family. My nieces and nephew were sent to earth to be a part of the Williams family. They used a different body to get those little spirits here, and how grateful we are their mothers were able to allow Doran and Shannon to raise them.

CAN MORMON WOMEN WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?

ANSWER: YES

Latter Day Saint women across the world hold professional titles such as CEO, VP, Doctor, professor, author, artist, teacher, athlete, and business owners. It makes me laugh when I hear people say this, especially when I'm at work while reading this. The idea that faithful Mormon women can't, shouldn't or don't work outside the home with a career or pursue schooling is not valid, nor is it what the LDS leadership teaches.
We do place the family as our priority and highest regard. We believe that all decisions regarding a wife or mother's employment should be weighed carefully on how they will affect the family and the rearing of their children. Husband and wife make these decisions together.
"The Family Proclamation to the World" teaches that although husband and wife are equal partners, each gender does have a principal role in the family. Mothers are primarily responsible for nurturing their children, and fathers are mainly responsible for providing the necessities of life. Still, so times "life" is a disability, a death, or other circumstances that may require us to adapt.
However, the fact is an LDS woman working outside the home or pursuing a career is left to her to decide and is entirely dependent upon her individual, marital, family, and social situation. We as mormons are taught not to judge any mother who chooses to work outside the home, regardless of the situation. 

CAN MORMON WOMEN PURSUE EDUCATION?

ANSWER: WE ARE ENCOURAGED TO---SO YES

Women are encouraged to gain an education and develop their minds, talents, and abilities.
Spencer W Kimball, who was a prophet when I was growing up said "The emphasis on education for LDS women continues, we. We are women to be well educated"
The modern-day Prophet President Monson has counseled both males and females to educate their minds and develop their skills and talents; education will prepare you for more excellent service in the world and the Church. It will help you better provide for yourself, your family, and those in need. It will also help you be a wise counselor and companion to your future spouse and an informed and effective teacher of your future children"
A 2010 study found that women of all faiths "believe more fervently in God" than men and that "by virtually every measure, they are more religious" than men.
This goes with a quote from President James E Faust a leader of the LDS church when he said "Surely the secret citadel of women's inner strength is spirituality. In this, you equal and even surpass men, as you do in faith, morality, and commitment when truly converted to the gospel. We believe that God planted within women something divine."

Beautiful Boy, Perfect Love

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 4, 2013

Beautiful Boy, Perfect Love

I simply adore this little boy. Recker is such a unique, special boy. Sometimes I wonder what is going through his beautiful little head. I watched him play with some of the children in his neighborhood yesterday from a distance. He was off alone in the corner by himself, then at one point, he heard one of the little girls talking to another little boy, Recker walked up and took the girl by the hand as if trying to get her to follow him, and she (like most children would do at her age) walked away from him. For just a slight moment, I could see this sadness on his face. He is starting to understand his limitations and what he cannot do. Soon, he will realize what he CAN do. We try to emphasize the CAN'S because there is a lot more he CAN do than he or we even realize.

  I want so desperately for the family to hear him just say something. Mom or dad would be preferable. He has now begun to wave goodbye to us. Once in a while, we can even get a little sound that we think is "bye-bye." When Blake counts ... one...two...three...jump ...we can usually hear him say when Blake gets to the two, Recker will say "twooey" it's so cute, we all jump for joy and have him do it over and over until he is fed up with it all, shakes his no. Off he goes to a new adventure much cooler than us.

He loves his daddy !!

Precious baby boy born 12-14-2009

Really? another picture? I'm barely awake.

I'm never getting out of the tub

bright eyes

just cuteness

fresh out of the tub

On 1st day of pre-school

helping bonbon get through a tough day

team bonbon--my biggest supporter

loves the OCEAN, OH AND OTTER POPS

YALE

uncle blake gets home from his mission

being an outside boy

Christmas 2012

  This little boy's heart is bursting with LOVE to be shared--Although he keeps it bundled up and sealed for special people in his life--I know he loves and feels Love. Recker has helped me understand that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of His children. We may not always understand THE PLAN, but if we let the process happen and listen for the spirit to teach us, we can hear the Love, especially the beautiful Love this boy has to offer.

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Monday Mormon Myths & Truths #5

 

MONDAY, JUNE 3, 2013

 Monday Mormon Myths and truths #5

I was asked by several different people over the past couple of weeks to discuss Mormon Women. With that being such a considerable interest with a lot of you, I have decided to break it up a little and answer a couple a week until they are all answered--

A Pulitzer Prize winner by the name of Wallace Stegner, authored a book in 1964 about the Mormon pioneers going westward in their migration to Utah and other western states. This is one of the things he said "I shall try to present the Mormons in their terms and judge them in mine. That I do not accept the faith that possessed them does not mean I doubt their frequent devotion and heroism in its service. Especially their women, their women, were incredible."

The LDS women today do not wear the pioneer dresses of the 1800s, but the women still lead remarkable lives and have a profound effect on other people. This coming from a self-professed late '20s, childless overeducated atheist feminist "I confess that reading Mormon housewives blogs, I have learned they are uplifting" she said that "their lives send out the message to the world, it is possible to be happy.....they love their homes, they love their husbands, family is their biggest priority, and life is meant to be enjoyed."
So who are LDS women, and what makes them so incredible? Where and how do they fit into the church, its society, and theology--I will answer all of the questions regarding women in the next few weeks.

  Mormon Myth: LDS women are more depressed than other women

Answer: NOT TRUE

I loved this question. I have gotten a few emails about this--to be quite honest with you, I had heard Utah had the highest usage of antidepressants in the nation and wondered about it myself--so this was great to study--thank you for the question--I guess I never thought about the fact that Utah with its 60%  LDS population would obviously be the reason why so many believe it has to be related to the lifestyle we live. 

A common myth has been circulating that LDS women are more depressed than any other women in America due to the demands, expectations, and religious lifestyle of Mormonism. This rumor started when Scripts reported in 2001 and 2007 that Utah, with its population of 60% LDS people, led the nation to use antidepressant medicines. Of course, people conclude that the high rate of depression was related to how the "Mormons live."

Many studies have examined the relationship between religion and depression, specifically Mormonism and depression. Most research indicates that LDS women are no more likely to experience depression than any other women in other religious groups.
 There was a study done in 2010 that compared thousands of LDS men and women with thousands of non-LDS men and women on twelve indicators of depression and found that, on average, LDS men who served missions (indicating their high religious activity in the church) reported less incidence of depression than any other.

And, you are now wondering about women, right? LDS women who served a mission (once again, indicating high activity in the LDS church) had significantly less depression than the national sample, reporting an average score of 1.0 days per week where depression symptoms occurred, compared to 1.39 days per week by the women on the national model (LDS women who did not serve a mission also reported a lower number than the national average of 1.11 days)
All this research concluded that "this study found no evidence that members of the LDS church experienced more depression than others across the nation. In fact, they discovered that, overall, LDS men and women with higher rates of religiosity had significantly lower levels of depression than the average American. So, the religious LDS lifestyle is a buffer against depression rather than what many LDS and non-LDS people have believed over the years.

  I have struggled with depression throughout my life, and for over 20 years, I have taken an antidepressant to help balance the serotonin levels in my body. For many years I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable discussing this with people, not only LDS members but non-members. The reason:

For me, it was because I felt if I told people, then they would have a lower opinion of me and that I would be looked at as a failure, not having the ability to control my thoughts or feelings. When I discovered I had cancer, I stopped taking all my antidepressant medicine; I have no idea why, except I thought it might be adding to the problem, and no doctor ever told me to stop taking it. Within a few months, I became extremely depressed and wanted to just die. When I went to the Mayo psychiatrist, he asked me why I stopped taking my medicine. My answer was, "I don't know, I just was so consumed with cancer I just stopped taking anything else, including vitamins" He then asked some questions about my childhood, and we talked about why I was initially taking the drug. He explained it so simple to me he said "If a person who is diabetic does not take their insulin, or a person who has heart problems does not take their medicine, they could get very sick and die, YOU and people like you who suffer with this anxiety and depression are no different, society sees them different, but medically you need to respect what your body is telling you and take the medicine that helps you"  I have never worried about it since, I take my medicine, I'm balanced, and I feel better. This has nothing whatsoever to do with my Mormon lifestyle of living. It has to do with genetics. There is a history in my family of depression and chemical imbalances.

LDS Women and the Priesthood:

Latter Day Saint women are not ordained to priesthood offices in the LDS church, and we don't know why. President Gordon B Hinckley said, "Women do not hold the Priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program" Although Mormon women do not hold the priesthood office, all the blessings and saving ordinances through the Priesthood are made equally available to both men and women.

To make it easier to understand, Priesthood is not a prideful thing or for power, position, or prestige- it is strictly designed to serve others.
Women are called to serve in organizational leadership positions of the church from the general Church level (Salt Lake City) down to the congressional level. They work together alongside the male Priesthood holders to serve all of God's children together.
No Priesthood "ladder" is necessary to climb in the LDS church to reach heaven; only priesthood ordinances are required for salvation, and they are available to both males and females.