Vito Dies

 Frenchie, maybe you know I'm not sure, but Vito passed away on Sept 16, 2024. I will be going to his funeral tomorrow.

I'm so glad I could visit him and JoAnne a month ago. I was looking forward to living down the street from them. I haven't spoken to JoAnne, but I think she was getting prepared for him leaving. He fell on his electric scooter a month ago, which is why I went to visit them.

JoAnne told Terry, JoAnne said, "How could we lose Eric and Vito in the same year?" I am so sad for her. I think I am more sensitive about death now. I understand how she feels. I miss you so much, sometimes I still can't believe you are gone. 

I just finished reading the Book of Mormon. I don't know who could read it and not feel its truthfulness. My testimony and faith have been tested this year, but I know that when I pray, I always feel close to Heavenly Father. 

I'm so glad I have the gospel in my life. I have never needed it more than I do now. I am worried about moving into the new house and going to a new ward. Eric, we have been in this ward for over 30 years. I always thought we would never move because we loved our ward so much, but when it was split, everything changed. It's just not the same. The people in the 6th ward that we know and love have told me they feel the same about their new ward. I have been truly blessed by the prayers of many people in these wards. I will always be grateful for our connections here, but moving is the right thing to do, even if I am as scared as I am. 

See You Soon

Monya

I Make Mistakes Over & Over Again

 

I’ve been so down lately; I have made many mistakes as a mother that I wish I could rewind. I have considered myself a good mother; I love my four children and my beautiful ten grandchildren. Since Eric’s heart attack, I have not spoken to two of my daughters. My heart is broken over it. 

The Lord sees my mistakes; he knows my failures and my successes. Sometimes, I daydream about being perfect in every way, but then I think about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The sacrifice that was made by Him for me helps me to understand. Every one of us makes mistakes. Sometimes, they are small, and sometimes there are big ones. They could be accidental, unintentional, and even careless. We even repeat mistakes. I have made mistakes that are hard to get over and move past. I struggle in prayer, asking for forgiveness daily, and nothing changes. I texted my daughter, telling her I was sorry and asking her to forgive me. I sometimes miss her so much that my heart hurts. I fear I’ve lost both of my daughters this time.

Unfortunately, there is no way around making mistakes, so we came to earth and got a body. Our environment, upbringing, the people we associate with, and choices can be debilitating. Although there really is no way around any of us making mistakes, there is a way through it. Our Savior!!

He knows how to lift me when I fail and forgive me when I fall. The Savior is the only way to make me stronger and a better person. Heavenly Father can restore my faith and hope and bring me peace.

He asks us to ‘Come unto Him,’ and he will give us rest. When I was a little girl, I heard this scripture and wondered, “What does that mean?” Now, as an adult, I understand. Just because we make mistakes does not mean all is well in our little worlds. When we hurt people, it is up to them to forgive; they may never forgive, and we must be okay with that. I want to rest; I want a second chance. I know the Lord forgives me repeatedly for the mistakes I make; now, it is up to me to forgive myself.

Forgiving myself for mistakes and things I have said or done to hurt my children is one of the hardest things ever. Never in my life did I ever imagine I could hurt one of my children so badly that they would never want to talk to me again. It is more than I can handle. Because I believe in Christ and my life’s purpose, I can only continue to pray and ask Him to forgive me. I doubt this will be the last time I have to ask forgiveness. All I can do now is wait and continue to pray their hearts will be softened to their mother and forgive me. 

I hope they don’t have to carry this burden when I die. But that is part of the plan; they will have to forgive themselves one day, too. I heard a song today that reminded me of the promises made.

•  It’s not about being perfect.
• That’s not what makes us strong or brave.
• It’s about getting back up.
• Forgiving ourselves and other people and then moving on.

The only way to forgive myself is to realize I was never a perfect mother or wife. But I did the best I could with what I was taught, and I don't care who you are, there is not a perfect mom or dad anywhere.

I get these thoughts and feelings about what my children think of me, and then I remember what David Byrd taught me: thoughts and feelings are not facts.

I wish all moms and dads could understand we do our best, and the rest is up to the Lord; he will figure it all out after we are gone. None of this bickering is getting anywhere we all have been hurt by a sharp tongue, and some of us choose to let it go because we know it was said out of anger, and most importantly we are a family.

Monya

I'm Trying ...

 

I'm trying...

I have missed a few blog posts so today I will post three.  First, I went to Cleveland Clinic, had my surgery with Doctor Gustman, then flew home with Eric to recover.  I'm getting good at this.  I do not like the pain medicine, Eric gets upset if I don't take it, but I try to muddle my way through without using it.

I received an email message from one of my physicians who reads this blog, so this is for him... "You made a mistake on your blog, which was your 21st surgery in less than 5 years" "Well excuse me for the miss count, btw your nosey" "No, just want you to be exact" So there you have it, yes, I have nosey physicians.  It's a good thing I love him enough to care that he was kind enough to correct me and that I never say anything on this blog I wouldn't be proud for them to read.

I want to add this little tender mercy to this blog post because it is another one that truly took me by surprise.  I have been involved with a company I feel the Lord placed in my lap a year ago for a reason, He knows how much each of us can handle, and knowing what was about to make a life-altering change to my life, He knew I needed to be with people and circumstances that could bless my life, and it has in such a precious way.  I have made lifelong friends, who never knew me before my paralysis or cancer diagnosis.  Most don't know my story.

I recently was invited to listen to a conference call by a woman who I had already admired, for her down-to-earth, funny, humble way of telling the story of how she and her sweet husband have gotten to where they are today.  Like always I was sitting on my bed with my phone in conference mode with my notepad ready to take notes and learn something that may also help me in my venture.  I was not prepared for the emotion I would feel when I listened in.  So many who have followed my story know I use the word HOPE so much, I have studied it, pondered it, lived it, and tried to wrap myself up in the warmth of that word.  Mariel began to speak with her team, (everyone on the call is muted) that's a good thing because it was not a minute or two into the call when I began to blubber like a baby.  It was as if she was speaking to me directly. (This is not the case she had about eight hundred people on that call) I am not going to go into all my notes, mostly because I stopped taking them at this point.  She was directly delivering her message to me.  Gracefully and gently, she spoke of HOPE.  Giving HOPE to others during a time in life when so many just need to know there are people in the world who care, and who want to help make a difference. It's been 6 months that I have dedicated myself to doing something kind for someone every single day, I have been successful in doing this, and it has changed my life. It doesn't take away my own needs and realities, but it has helped me to become a better person and to learn that when I fall, I can be lifted and reminded of my potential.  I've been reminded once again time after time as I'm guided to people daily that I have so much to work on, so much to learn but by taking the hand of others like Mariel and Frank I can be led and guided with thoughts of goodness and mercy and do it with humility and grace.

I had a few days off for recovery after surgery but started back to work last week.  I love my job at USAirways.  I really had a breakthrough last week while working.  Not the place I thought this would happen, but anymore I am never surprised at what, where, or who touches my life in a significant way.

I was taking a reservation for a man, just doing my job when out of nowhere he asked me if I was OK.  Not knowing exactly what he meant I asked, "Yes I'm OK, does it seem I am not doing my job, or have I offended you?" "Oh heavens no, just the opposite you are lovely to talk to, and today I feel grateful it was you who answered the phone" A little stunned I thanked him and finished up his reservation, when I asked if there was anything else I could do to help him he said "Yes, you can" thinking he was going to either change the reservation, have me send him to rental cars or add his dividend miles number, you can imagine my surprise when this is what he said "Did you recently have a stroke? I don't mean to be nosey but your voice sounds a little staggered" for the first time I was finally able to hear the truth from someone, a stranger and for the 1st time a light went off in my head I replied "No sir, I didn't have a stroke but I do have partial facial paralysis and sometimes it is difficult to speak clearly, I'm sorry if you had a hard time with me today" I felt this sweet peace come over me, I am healing, from the inside out.

Facial paralysis has been by far the most challenging misfortunate obstacle I have had to come to grips with.  I've felt so many times that I just can't do this anymore, begging for relief, for complete physical healing.  I have felt broken, alone, and misunderstood. To finally say aloud to a perfect stranger "I have partial facial paralysis" may seem so insignificant to other people, but for me it was HUGE.  My physicians have been perfectly honest with me.  Right now, there is not much hope for a full recovery without more surgery, which I was told from the beginning.  I like to think I want to hear the full truth, the bottom line, then I can deal with it.  Boy, was I surprised at how much I didn't comprehend my own understanding of what difficulty was?

I have so many people say "...but you're beautiful" for some reason that ".... but" hesitation has penetrated my heart too many times.  I know there is not one person out there that has said those words to me who is comfortable saying it, but I've come to discern they love me and just don't know what to say, and that is OK, I don't know what to say either.  The absolute truth is, my soul, is trying to heal, and it will take some time for me to be ready to accept this new life I have been offered.

The 'Give and Take'

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 17, 2014

The 'Give and Take'

He's at the door waiting to hear from us

It's late, after midnight; I need to sleep but can't. Not much has changed; sitting and waiting is so hard. Today, Cleveland Clinic surgery schedulers called to get me one more appointment with one of the surgeons for Thursday. Also, I need to make an appointment with internal medicine and finish all my lab work. After I speak with the surgeon on Thursday, I will better understand what they are going to do to me, how they will do it, and make sure my insurance covers all of this. I've always said everything happens for a reason, I know the Lord does not just toss us out into the world without an answer, but sometimes life does throw us under the bus. Tonight, I went into the bathroom and did my ritual of staring at my face and saying to my eyebrow, "MOVE" repeatedly.

When I had no luck there, I did it with my eye "blinking" over and around, really concentrating with my brain on making my eye blink--it did two times--it is funny to watch me do it, but if a positive mental attitude can help me regain movement, even if just a little then I am successful. It tells me I have the strength to retrain my brain to get those wires reconnected. One last try with my lip, I say, "SMILE," staring at the right side of my lip...I think I may have seen a slight movement...It may not happen today, but when I least expect it, it will happen; I'm not sure how long I'll have to wait. Sometimes I wonder if Heaven is even listening to me. Do I need to change my prayers? Tonight, after my facial ritual, I sat on the floor of the small bathroom, turned off the lights, and prayed. I know God has heard every prayer; Heaven often surprises me when I least expect it because tonight, I felt the spirit--yes, right there on the floor of a hotel bathroom. Who would ever expect to get an answer to prayers while sitting on the dirty dark bottom of a hotel bathroom? Not me.

Today, I needed to go out and get some food for my hotel; a little girl was with her mom and grandmother; she was about 4 or 5. She pointed right at my eye as I walked in and said, "hey, what's that on your eye? do you have an eye?" Her mother was mortified, but I stopped her and said, "Oh, I'm OK. I just have a little boo-boo, so I'm keeping it covered."  Then she proceeded to show me her boo-boo on the heel of her foot, the band-aid was coming off, and she told me, "It's not a real boo-boo; it's just for play"  I started to smile then realized that doing that would create a whole new conversation, so I just shook her hand and told her to have fun with her mom and grandmother. They apologized, and I told them they had nothing to apologize for; I appreciated her asking instead of staring--her little brain is learning, and this is her way of processing. They were genuinely kind and apologized again as they walked away.

It's interesting how the Lord gives me sight when I can't see. This experience gave me a new perspective. It was exactly what I needed. He took my doubt and replaced it with the truth. He took my fear away; all I could feel was Him. He takes me as I am, by the hand He sees into my soul, and He takes just what I need; so many times, when He is refining me, leading me through the bittersweet, I'm trusting him to make me complete. I may never be the same Monya as far as my physical appearance, I know He sees my heartache, but He sends His sweet grace to help relieve me of those days when I feel my HOPE fading. I know this 'give and take that the Lord seems to be guiding me through over the past few years has blessed me to see that 'giving and taking away are exactly what I need to get me through those bitter/sweet times. I'm hoping through this refinement I am going through now. He sees I am worn out, trying to keep up, and I can be left alone for just a bit--I'm not sure how much more I can take.  

Sleepless Nights & Rainbows

 

MONDAY, APRIL 21, 2014

Sleepless Nights & Rainbows

There is not much to say; I went to Mayo Clinic today and will be back tomorrow. Today, my ear has suddenly decided to turn for the worse. Yesterday I woke up with black on my pillow; I thought it might be some dried blood, but no such luck--it was fresh and black, but it was also Easter, and I wanted to spend a wonderful day with my family.
I felt really dizzy most of the day and had problems during sacrament concentrating as my ear was pounding in my head like a heartbeat. When I bowed my head during prayer, I thought my head was going to explode, and the equilibrium was off when I stood up. I saw Stephen Phelps on the stand and focused on the fact that I knew he was in pain too...sounds strange, but it was my way at that time of distracting myself. He is such an inspiration; few know of the pain he has, yet every week he's there playing the organ so beautifully; his testimony through his music plays directly to my heart every time.
I wore a shirt today that said, "Don't forget to Smile" I love that shirt--today, it helped me to get past the complaining passengers who were upset about their seat assignment or the guy who could not understand why US Airways would not allow him to bring his sheep on board to ride with the rest of the customers---???  !!!  Yeah, those are the calls I get, my friend who sits next to me is always listening to my calls, he draws a big smiley face and tacks it on the wall in front of me--so today I wore that shirt for Frank.
I met up with my dear friend Jori today; we had an hour or so to visit while we both got manicures. She is trying to move forward after the loss of her son CJ. She explained her Easter Sunday, my heart was whole; and I was trying to hold back the tears when she described the day. I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knew I could not handle that one--losing a child is not something I want to ever endure, but if I do, Jori will be the one I go to. She's strong and has wisdom I could use.
Tonight, I want to be strong like the branches of a tree when a storm is raging. Time to get back down on my knees and ask Him to help me be strong like the wind--hoping that wind will push me further up this hill I'm climbing.
I've done all I can, listened to my doctors, taken my medicine, and tried the natural path; now it's time for me to decide if what I preach I can put into action. While at the doctor today, the cute resident who is usually there was not seeing me; I'm not sure if she is in that department anymore. Today I saw another adorable resident; he looked in my ear, didn't say much, and left the room to get Dr. Barr's. When he came in, I said while holding out my shirt, "don't forget to smile" trying to keep the energy positive, he said, "I hope you can smile" I was sure he was going to tell me all was well in the journey of my ear problems. Boy, was I off. It was the opposite. He brought in Kathleen, his nurse, to look, then he and she sucked out what they could. They rattled off a bunch of medical terms I'm not aware of, and I was told he wants to get this surgery ASAP--when Kathleen mentioned tomorrow--I was a little shocked--I'm not being given any choices? I guess I've been hoping to put off the inevitable; I thought I would be more intelligent than the doctor----big mistake---he's made an earthquake shake my soul today. So much for that "don't forget to smile" shirt.
Am I missing something? I've wanted to move out of the shadows and into the sun, taking baby steps and reconnecting with friends. I'm finally comfortable where I am in my life; an occasional visit to Mayo Clinic would be OK, but these weekly visits annoy me. Dr. Northfelt can't tell me I'm cancer free, but I've learned to live with that, cope with it, and trust in Him. Today I felt more alone than I have in an exceptionally long time. I had an appointment after Mayo Clinic; when I left, I pulled over my car and cried a river, then said a prayer, listened for an answer--NOTHING! When searching for answers in the past, I've always trusted He will answer back; he's always shown me that I can handle any trial that comes my way, I've always felt Him beside me, but today, I didn't feel it.

I'm scared; I know he knows my strength; I know He understands where my heart is; what is wrong this time? I feel like I'm being pulled back into that black hole that took me 4 years to crawl out of. I need my friends, I want to be with them, but I don't ever want them to see me like I was today. Tomorrow, Mayo Clinic will show up on my caller ID. I often want to go back to the days of no cell phones. I wish I could find the happiness I'm looking for. Tonight, it's time for me to get to sleep; it's quiet here; Eric is asleep. I haven't even had time to talk to him today. These surgeries will put me so far behind my goals--but for now, I'm going to bed, hopefully sleeping until 4:30, when I will rise up and start my day again. I said, "I will not have another surgery, no more; I'm done; it's time to let it go and leave it in the Lord's hands."  I guess taking the rain with the sunshine is the only way I will get to see the rainbows.

New Gilbert Temple

 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 21, 2014

New Gilbert Temple

Saturday, January 18, 2014

We were able to have the whole family, except for
Kayla, Jeremy, Recker, and Ezra.

We had the privilege to tour the new Gilbert Temple on the evening of the 1st day of public viewing before the Temple was closed to the public. The LDS community and those of other faiths have been patiently waiting for almost 4 years for this Temple to be finished and ready for viewing.
I thought every room was beautiful and loved how they themed it around the Agave plant. This is more than a beautiful building, and it is a sacred and Holy place for worthy LDS members to pray and get answers. I have always told my children there is no place more beautiful than the Temple to be married. We have been blessed to have all of our children make the choice to be sealed to their husbands and Blake to Chloe. Those weddings will always be in my heart; I will never forget seeing these cute couples enter the sealing rooms together as friends and leave as friends and now as husband and wife. When Haleigh and Scott were married, we were fortunate to have the entire family there to witness their beautiful eternal promises to each other.

Tears filled my eyes when we visited the baptismal font; oh are so many memories I have as a youth baptizing in proxy; with my ear issues, I was only ever allowed to do one or two names; fortunate for me, I have those names written in my journal, and I hope to meet those people one day when I leave this life--if they chose to accept the Gospel I know I will see them and search for them.

I personally have never visited another building that has brought more spiritual joy to my heart than the Temple of the Lord. Many of my answers to prayers have been in the Temples of the Lord. I'm grateful to have Gospel in my life, and I am living proof that miracles happen when we stay close to the Lord and do our best to live as he did. I have so much to learn, and I look forward to volunteering at this Temple. I wish I could have time to stand still so every one of my friends LDS or not, could come and feel the spirit in this beautiful Temple. Eric and I have had many opportunities to visit Temples around the world, but something special is happening here in Gilbert; this is the most beautiful of all the Temples I have ever had the opportunity to visit.

All I have is Yours

 

MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014

All I have is yours

Today is Sunday, January 12, 2013

Well, I did it; I went to church today and could sit through all three hours; yay, pat on the back for me. I was not feeling well yesterday and stayed in bed all day, except to get sick. I also had a very quiet Saturday. The kids went to Disneyland; Jeremy, Kayla, Ezra, and Recker spent the day together, and Eric was at work. Honestly, I was relieved to be allowed to just do nothing but rest and pray I could go to church. I made a goal to at least try to get through Sacrament, but I was able to make it through Sunday School and Relief Society.

I wish I could say it was easy, but I can't.   This was a massive revelation for me today, and I caught myself several times in tears. I walked in a little late, and Eric saved me a seat. Just before I left the house, I went back and forth to my room twice to pray....." please help me to understand what they are saying" that was my 1st prayer, and not feeling quite happy with it, I walked back upstairs and knelt next to that all familiar place next to my bed and poured out my heart, "I know you are teaching me something, or trying to, am I so hard headed that I am not getting it? Please. Heavenly Father, help me to listen with my heart today, even if I can't understand what is being said" I waited a few minutes with my head low and eyes closed, expecting something, but it never came.

I was met at the chapel doors by President Packard (one of my favorite people of all time). He had his head down with folded arms, so by this, I knew the prayer was going on; I waited to watch him; I could not hear one thing being said, so watching him gave me the indication when the prayer was over. He shook my hand, and we greeted him with a sweet hello. I was wearing a mask, so our eyes smiled. I have never been frightened to enter the chapel, but today I was until I saw Eric stand and help me get seated. Marian tapped my shoulder and smiled; what a comfort if she only knew what I was feeling. How will I communicate with these people I love so much? I can talk--that's never been my problem--I wonder why not? Why didn't my mouth get reconstructed? It's usually the one thing that gets me in the most trouble; if you've followed my blog or know me well, you know I don't keep much to myself. This has always been one of my downfalls and hardships in life......just say nothing.....maybe this is what the Lord trying to teach me....for so many years as a child and youth, I kept quiet through the rough times; after all, we were the All American Family, I think once I gave myself the permission to speak I never shut up....haha.

I sat through Sacrament, having to constantly ask Eric what the speakers were talking about. Mary Greer Spoke today and props to her; I could read her lips for all her talks; she is fantastic and has been through so many trials this past year. Just an amazing family, the Greers; Julie is great. I love her, and I can see the growth and comfort she and President Greer are giving to Mary and her tiny children after the death of Mary's husband last year. Sunday School, I caught little of what was being said; it's hard to explain. I have about 25% hearing in one ear, and it happened overnight; I have a tough time hearing when there is a group of people, and I have no idea who was reading, quoting, or commenting (one of those tearful moments)  When I only had a hearing in one ear, I thought I was a pretty good lip reader--come to find out--I'm not--If I am talking to someone one on one I do really good. Still, when noise comes from around me, I have no idea where it is or who it is. I'm so glad Haleigh was with me in Relief Society today--I've always been a believer that nothing happens in life as a coincidence; I know if Haleigh were not there, I could have quickly asked any woman in that room to sit on my left side and help me to follow along with the lesson. Still, I loved having my sweet baby girl there, she whispered in my ear when she thought I didn't understand, and she was right every time.

Today I have been thinking about a dear friend killed by a drunk driver years ago; she and I worked together. She taught me so many words in sign; it was something I enjoyed and always wished I had taken more interest in a class or two--I know I wouldn't be able to communicate this way with my family or anyone else who didn't know sign. But Blake didn't know how to speak Spanish when he went on his mission; he came home and knew the language. Is this what I am supposed to learn? Could I go on a sign language mission? Remember, these are just my wonderings--my mind goes places sometimes--like today.

And now I am tonight; I can't sleep, worried about too many things. I took a bath and listened to uplifting music with my earphones on to not wake the family with the speaker's full blast. I went into Haleigh's bedroom, read some of the Preach my Gospel, and finally decided to pray.

Haleigh-Washed the Blood Out of My Hair

 

MONDAY, JANUARY 6, 2014

Haleigh-Washing the Blood Out of My Hair

On my way home from the Mayo Clinic, I was thinking about the day after I came home from the Hospital. I called Haleigh and asked her if she would mind coming over to my house and washing my hair for me; she said, "I'd love to do that for you, mom," as she washed the blood out of my hair in the kitchen sink, I could smell the blood. Haleigh was careful not to get water in my ear; it was a challenging task. I reached up to help move my hair over and out of the way of the water, and a chunk of hair fell into my fingers. Tears immediately filled my eyes; I wrapped my hair in a towel, went upstairs, and tried combing through it, but clumps were falling. Two days later, still a huge chunk, I asked about it, and I was told that the amount of anesthesia I was given during such a long surgery sometimes affects patients by their hair falling out.

 I have thought about Haleigh washing my hair that day so many times --it was such a small act of service, and knowing my daughter, she has not thought about it since. Sometimes those tiny acts of kindness are the ones that mean the most to me and to others; those are times when I think of the Savior teaching us.

Matthew 22:36-39 A man asked Jesus, "Which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus replied:  Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. And the second is like unto it, Thou Shalt love they neighbor as thyself" Charity and service are the pure love of Christ; when we can serve others even in little ways, it shows our desire to be more like HIM. Sometimes those acts of service are complex and can stretch us to places we may not feel comfortable. But I believe in all of us there is Charity, a gift from God. He has given it to us and expects us to act upon it. When we can do it with a willing heart, it shows we are trying to be more like Him and have true Christlike Attributes.

I don't think it was an easy task for Haleigh to come to my home and clean blood out of her mother's hair, but I was grateful she did it. Showing these Christlike Attributes helps us to gain the potential to become more like HIM. When we do it with a pure heart, avoiding negative feelings, judgment, and criticism, it is easier to understand another person's point of view, strengthening our faith and developing a life of service and charity.

Monday Mormon Myths and Truths #14

 

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2013

Monday Mormon Myths and Truths #14

The question I got this week was about the LDS view on abortion:

The LDS position on abortion is very clear: "Members of the church must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion. The position stems from our belief in the sanctity of life, that God is the Father of our spirits, and that HE has spirit children who desire to come to earth and receive a physical body, be born, and progress through life on earth.
There are, however, some exceptional circumstances that may justify abortion from an LDS view. They include "when pregnancy results from incest or rape when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth."

When a child is conceived outside of marriage, the Church policy for what to do is to do what is best for the child. The mother and Father together should decide what the best option is. If it is a strong relationship, the mother and Father should marry and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship. Their goal should include having that child sealed to them in a Holy Temple to be a family for time and all eternity. If a successful marriage is unlikely or not an option, they should consider placing the baby up for adoption.

Next question:  How does your church feel about Pornography. since it is such a big part of society now?

This is an obvious answer to me, but I will still give you the word on "Mormon Street" Pornography is considered an influence as destructive to the soul as the black plague was to the body.

It degrades the human body and undermines the purposes of physical intimacy. It often degrades women by objectifying them and demeaning their divine character.
Mormon leadership has spoken out on Pornography in its worldwide general conferences more than 140 times since 1986. So obviously, it is a worldly problem and sometimes can be an easy door opener for Satan to do his magic, especially on the youth. The reason why Mormons take this issue so seriously is that we take the word of God seriously: "Whosoever looketh on women to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). If someone views immoral images, it can create bad thoughts, which leads to sinful desires, actions, passions, and character.

IMMORAL IMAGE +IMMORAL THOUGHTS+IMMORAL DESIRES OR PASSIONS= IMMORAL ACTIONS

Additionally, Pornography can be addicting and take control of a person's life. Mormons believe in avoiding all behaviors that can lead to addiction and diminish a person's ability to control their desires and behavior.
I have seen Pornography get into the minds of the youth and destroy their ability to think of anything else but getting to a computer so they can view the filth that surrounds our country and many others. When I was a young girl, there was no such thing as a computer. If someone had told me back then that we would be able to call someone on a cell phone, I would have told them they were crazy. We had one phone in the house on the kitchen wall. If you wanted to have a semi-private conversation, you had to stretch the cord around the corner, and, just maybe, it would reach a room where you could shut the door to talk to your friends without anyone listening. In the world today, our children, our husbands, and friends have access to the internet 24/7. They can, if they choose, access the pornography sites as much as they want. I am being LDS or not, I do not want that influence in my life.

Huahine Island French Polynesia

 

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2013

Huahine Island French Polynesia

Thursday Day 8
Today we woke up in Huahine.  Eric was like a child waiting to open Christmas Presents, he woke up early--I was still sleepy, so he went for a walk and breakfast--however, breakfast was not ready. For Heaven's Sake it was five in the morning.  I don't think the sun was even up yet.  Oh, I forgot to mention we are now on a cruise for the remaining Islands we wanted to visit.  I finally opened my sleepy eyes prayed, got ready, ate breakfast, and made the second tender to the Island.  We decided to find our own tour guide instead of using the ship tours, they are twice or even three times more than what we could ask local people to do for us. 

We took a free shuttle into town and rented a car, not from a car company, Eric just went around asking locals if he could rent their car. A woman Eric found let us use her car and have it back by three.  We rented it for about $40 and she was so happy, the ship wanted $140 for the day. We went to a local store, picked up some baguettes and juice, and we were off to drive the entire Island. We saw blue eyed eels, & Tahitian ruins. We stopped along the way to take pictures of this beautiful place. On our journey we saw two senior missionaries sitting on the side of the road looking out into the ocean, we pulled over and Eric spoke to them in French. They have been on this Island for fourteen months, and they are the only missionaries on the Island. On this Island there is only four hundred members of the church, and two buildings, they invited us to Church on Sunday, but we told them we would be on a different Island, then sadly, they told us the church on that Island starts at 8 am and we will not be arriving to the Island until noon. They kissed us on each cheek and said goodbye.

At dinner tonight on the ship, we made a reservation to eat at the French restaurant.  I was not too impressed with the menu, Eric was extremely happy, he loved everything on the menu. We were laughing at the man next to our table who had ordered tartar and for those who do not know what that is---its raw hamburger meat with seasonings--sounds like a night hovering the toilet to me--We started to laugh because Eric said he knew the guy had no idea what he was about to eat, and the 1st bite he made a face we will never forget, then rudely we laughed until we cried, the waiter came and asked him if he like it, (remember he ate the entire plate out of respect) but had no problem saying when asked if he like it "No, not really"  We had a great time today, but I miss my kids.

One of the locals

The baguettes--We cant get enough

Senior Missionaries

LDS Church Building

one of the homes in the lagoon

Day 4 and 5 in Moorea

 

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2013

Day 4 and 5 in Moorea

Day 4 Sunday in Moorea--

after our scout out of the Island we found the church, we wanted to attend today--the only branch on the Island--every song, every lesson and prayer is done in both Tahitian and French--I loved it--Eric Loved it--On this Island there is one branch and two buildings. How blessed I feel to belong to a religion so strong in its roots.  We were able to make a short drive of 10-15 minutes, along the way I saw a young man walking in a white shirt and tie, and told Eric we should give him a ride....slight hesitation on his part, but he turned around and we tried to talk to him in French, but soon found out he was deaf-I saw his Priesthood manual and signed out our names and that we were going to the Mormon Church if he wanted a ride. We were of course greeted by each member with a kiss on each cheek and they say, "Yo raw na" (hello, or good day) 

Before the Sacrament started, the brother on the left below stood and introduced us to the branch by name and where we were from...big smiles and stares from everyone, mostly because I was the only blond fare skinned person in the room. As soon as the meeting began my thoughts went to Stephen Phelps who plays the organ in our ward in Arizona, I have never felt the spirit testify to me through music like his does, but today hearing it with my eyes shut listening with my heart was incredible. They sing the melody in French and Tahitian. In fact, the entire meeting was done in French and Tahitian. Today in Sacrament there were seventy-eight people in attendance (yes, I counted) don't judge me please----The speaker spoke about missionary work; he said if the spirit is constantly with you than sharing the gospel should come easy. Simple enough, Christ is a constant in our lives his promises are real they never change, when we strive to keep our promises to live as he did the spirit will testify to us and will lead us in the right direction--never failing. 

After the Sacrament meeting was over, we divided into Tahitian classes and French class for Sunday School. During Sunday School, we met another Teri Larsen, she reminded me so much of sister Larsen in my home ward. She walked in took a seat from the front row since all the rest were taken then she said in French, "if you come in last you always end up on the 1st row, except for me, I take a chair and sit in the back". Eric started laughing and I asked what she said, we both looked at each other and said endearingly Teri Larsen!  During Sunday School I could hear across the way on the other side of the building the Primary children singing in French "If you chance to meet a frown" it brought tears to my eyes, the gospel is so constant, no matter where you are in the world it stays the same, the gospel does not change, even the music.  The Priesthood meeting was in Tahitian and brother Wilford said for us it would be better to leave, at 1st I was  put back by that, but Eric said he explained in French it is hard for the French speaking to understand and he thought we would not get much from it, well Eric anyway----and for me I wanted to go to Relief Society, I don't care if I don't know the language, to me I feel it in my heart. This was a good day; we went back to the bungalow and watched a movie called FIREPROOF--I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EVERY NEWLY MARRIED OR MARRIED COUPLE TO WATCH THIS AS A FAMILY.  We ate dinner, knelt, and had prayer and went to sleep ready for Monday to start another adventure.

Happiest people on the earth, we decided to go to the
branch. Interesting they sing the Hymns in both
Tahitian and French

This is the baptismal Font

So happy to see us--Happier to see them

Enduring Love

 

TUESDAY, JULY 2, 2013

Enduring Love

I
I am touched by this video.  I pray all people of any faith are looking for this type of Eternal Love in their marriage--for those who are not married yet--marriage is hard work--never give up--

Beautiful Boy, Perfect Love

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 4, 2013

Beautiful Boy, Perfect Love

I simply adore this little boy. Recker is such a unique, special boy. Sometimes I wonder what is going through his beautiful little head. I watched him play with some of the children in his neighborhood yesterday from a distance. He was off alone in the corner by himself, then at one point, he heard one of the little girls talking to another little boy, Recker walked up and took the girl by the hand as if trying to get her to follow him, and she (like most children would do at her age) walked away from him. For just a slight moment, I could see this sadness on his face. He is starting to understand his limitations and what he cannot do. Soon, he will realize what he CAN do. We try to emphasize the CAN'S because there is a lot more he CAN do than he or we even realize.

  I want so desperately for the family to hear him just say something. Mom or dad would be preferable. He has now begun to wave goodbye to us. Once in a while, we can even get a little sound that we think is "bye-bye." When Blake counts ... one...two...three...jump ...we can usually hear him say when Blake gets to the two, Recker will say "twooey" it's so cute, we all jump for joy and have him do it over and over until he is fed up with it all, shakes his no. Off he goes to a new adventure much cooler than us.

He loves his daddy !!

Precious baby boy born 12-14-2009

Really? another picture? I'm barely awake.

I'm never getting out of the tub

bright eyes

just cuteness

fresh out of the tub

On 1st day of pre-school

helping bonbon get through a tough day

team bonbon--my biggest supporter

loves the OCEAN, OH AND OTTER POPS

YALE

uncle blake gets home from his mission

being an outside boy

Christmas 2012

  This little boy's heart is bursting with LOVE to be shared--Although he keeps it bundled up and sealed for special people in his life--I know he loves and feels Love. Recker has helped me understand that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of His children. We may not always understand THE PLAN, but if we let the process happen and listen for the spirit to teach us, we can hear the Love, especially the beautiful Love this boy has to offer.

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