CJ Udall

 

TUESDAY, MARCH 18, 2014

CJ Udall

Mesa mom says son died trying to save his dog - WFSB 3 Connecticut.

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I've been so proud of Jori and Dwight; my heart aches for their family but spending time with them this week has been a spiritual experience. My testimony of the Savior and His love for all of His children has been re-confirmed. This sweet little angel boy touched more lives than he ever knew; it was simple for him. He loved people unconditionally. Just as our Savior does. Oh, how I wish I had that kind of love for everyone I come in contact with.

For the last couple of days, I can only think of CJ. There was a time when I was a little girl I tried so hard to touch the stars; I remember laying on the grass in our front yard with my hands stretched as high as I could, trying to grasp something, anything I could tangibly touch. At church, I squirmed in my seat, trying hard to concentrate on what my primary teacher was trying to teach me. The older I got, not much changed, except I lived with a quiet ache trying to reach for truth, desperate to discover something that had always been just out of my reach. It seemed that my best friends Linda and Jami knew the truth. I remember one night praying, and a stirring in my heart told me the knowledge was still yet to come. Once I felt that special feeling, I never wanted to be without it.

Today, as I remember those long past days, I realized everything I have been learning in this school of life is leading me up to what Heaven is for.

C J is now learning; he is in a school, a Heavenly school, gaining knowledge none of us have, sharing, smiling, and finally home where he belongs. Sometimes we are so desperate to learn it all now, but some of the knowledge is saved for another journey we will gladly take with our Heavenly Family.

"Oh dear, 'Now What?"

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2014

"Oh Dear, Now What?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I woke up this morning in a puddle of blood on my pillow, all over the side of my face, neck, and ear. How did I sleep through that? I went to Mayo to have it checked out. By the time I got there, I had to change out the bloody cotton balls 4 times, which were saturated. It was not painful, just messy.

When I arrived at the Mayo Clinic, I had to wait a bit in the waiting area because I did not have a scheduled appointment--I looked around at the people who were there today--no one I knew. Still, I watched a woman in a wheelchair. I was intrigued by her for some reason. I could hear her and her partner talking about different things, but I was more interested in why both of her legs were amputated, and one arm had gone--I kept to myself until her partner asked me if I would pass her a magazine. I said, "sure, which one do you want?" We began a conversation between us. I was able to ask about her medical issues. She was in a horrible car accident and rushed to the hospital, and when she woke up, they were gone. I asked her how that made her feel and that it must have been hard to process. Her answer was, "at first, I didn't know they were gone, and I was just happy to be alive, but when I realized or was told about the loss of limbs, I was very depressed, almost to the point of suicide" "understandably so" I said. "How are you dealing with it now that it's been a while and you have had to get out into the world and live again?" She graciously said, "I'm alive, that is a blessing in itself, but I had no idea how kind people could be. I normally consider people judgmental and rude, and some stare, but most people care."

I, too, believe that inside every person is a caring heart. It is a natural instinct for people to look at a person who is bald with cancer, especially a woman or someone who has lost limbs. Most of the time, we just pass them by and forget to give them a smile or two.

MONYA WILLIAMS is announced over the loudspeaker, and off I went--saying goodbye, knowing I will probably not ever see this woman again, but wanting her to realize she left an impression on my heart I will never forget--I started to leave then went back and told her what an impression she had made on me and gave her my email address to keep in touch. With tears in her eyes, she said thank you.

My ear is still bleeding, but Doctor Barrs is in surgery and cannot see me. He sent in his resident, the same one who saw me in the hospital and would not give me pain meds and overlooked the vast softball-size hematoma on my head--"Oh dear, now what?" was my thought. Like always, went over my medication list, then started her vacuum sucking out of my ear. My balance was off for quite a while--this is what she said to me "Ummm, I can't see where the source of the bleeding is coming from, so I think you should see Dr. Barrs next week." That is the extent of it for now--she stuck a cotton ball in my ear, and off I went--"what a waste of my gas" was my thought initially, then I remembered the amputee I met....she is the reason I was supposed to come here today...I met a new friend and was able to spread some happiness, her with me and me with her. 

This is my walk away from Mayo Clinic.