It can always be worse

 

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2011

It can always be worse

A half marathon in Mesa Arizona

I spent a few days at the Mayo Clinic this week--tests and more tests trying to figure out what is going on with my hip and back--
I met a new doctor. He said, "Hello, nice to meet you," in his cute German accent. After our introductions, it was all business. He never smiled or looked at me in the face as he stared at paperwork and had me doing all these different walks across the room. On my toes, on my heels, walk there, walk here, and never once smiled or looked at me-me, as in my face or eyes--so I'm just going to say he will never be a Dr. Kreymerman.
He then ordered more tests and sent me to the physical therapist-- the entire time looking at his paperwork, computer, or elsewhere-- so it was "Goodbye, Dr. What's his face."
The funny thing about Dr. What's his face? The next day, while I was waiting to see the physical therapist, he walked by, looked at me, and smiled. I don't think he even knows I'm his patient. I'm in this waiting room because he ordered PT for me. However, I Love my physical therapist. I am going to be Her twice a week. I will also be getting cortisone shots in my hip and back to help with the pain-- they (Dr. what's his face) diagnosed my hip with bursitis, and my back is arthritis caused by the amounts of chemo received. Pauline wants me to keep a log of what exercise I am doing every week--she was a little concerned when I told her how much I was running; the cycling she said was a bit obsessive too; I was advised that a woman "my age" should not be doing an access amount of exercise because it is damaging more than healing. Too old, A woman my age?" Seriously? What about the the100-year-old man who finished a marathon two weeks ago? Doctors have told me a few times that I should not be running the number of miles I run weekly. Part of me wants so badly to run a marathon--it's difficult for me to embrace the words "you can't do it." 

I refuse to crawl up in a rocking chair and die. For an athlete like myself, it is tough to cut back on the things I love to do. I've always strived to do better and go further in each run. I constantly see how much faster I need to go to beat yesterday's time. I track my scores to better my stride and endurance. I've learned from this experience that listening to my doctor's advice with my heart monitor watch is probably the best way to go about accomplishing in the end what I need or want for myself, every time I think I know better, I end up right back at the beginning, with nothing accomplished--sometimes I feel Like this is what happens when I refuse to listen to answers to prayers too I get in the way of my own progression--I wonder why it is that sometimes we think we know more about ourselves then the Lord does--with that being said I am really, really sad not to be able to run the marathon next weekend--when the doctors talk to me this is what I hear "you are one of the most healthy patients I have ever had"  then the bomb hits, "but you are also the most unhealthy patient I have ever had because every side effect you could possibly get from chemo and radiation has happened to you."

-but when I put it all in perspective, it could always be worse--