WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8, 2014
Silence is Golden
Have you ever heard "Silence is Golden?" I remember being a young mom, a sister gave a lesson in Relief Society, and she used this phrase; I do not place in what context she was talking about; all I remember was thinking, "How would it be to have complete silence, my house has 3 young children running every which way, noise everywhere."
Right now, that phrase means something entirely different to me. In joking, my family has, through the years, made light of me not being able to hear out of one ear, not in a mean way or anything, but an example would be, at night when I go to bed, I put an earplug in one ear, so I can have complete silence when I sleep. My family had always thought it was funny to walk in when they knew I had the ear plug in and start signing to me or talking really quiet, so I had to pull the earplug out to hear what they were saying for a long time I didn't realize they were playing around with me. I just pulled the earplug out, and without fail, they would say "never mind," and I'd put the plug back in, again they began to talk; I pulled the plug out, and again "never mind" it didn't take long for me to catch on they were all in on this joke--and I have always been able to laugh with them, after all, it's true I'm completely deaf in one ear.
I have, for years, told my family I hope I never lose hearing in my left ear; they'll have a hay day with that.
I hope this loss of hearing in my left ear is temporary. Right now, I have 25% hearing in only one ear. It is the most frustrating thing I think I've faced so far. When I think of not being able to hear the beautiful music of the church that I listen to daily and love so much, it makes me anxious and scared. Today I went to pick up a prescription at Walgreens, and I could not hear what the lady was saying through the speaker--when I was speaking to my sister on the phone through my car audio, I had it turned up to the maximum of thirty and I could barely hear her. This is a reality for me; when I am one-on-one with someone or in a small area, I do okay, but when I am in a restaurant or a place with a lot of sound going on, it is challenging to balance out where the sound is coming from. I get anxiety and fear that is hard to explain, right now I could be careless about my right ear; I just don't want to lose the hearing in my left ear--oh, please don't let that happen--but if for some reason it is thy will I can survive right? It'll just take some getting used to. I have to remember the other side of the mountain--do what I can and not worry about what I can't.
No comments:
Post a Comment