I miss you

Frenchie, every day I am without you, I know I am one day closer to being with you. Today has been one of those days when I have been crying more than usual. I appreciate you so much for taking care of me when you were physically here. I took you for granted, and I miss you. I hate that life is going on around me, and I can't help but feel abandoned and lonely.

I had no idea I would have to make so many decisions. You protected me from a lot. I always thought I would go first, and you would move on, find a new wife, and be waiting for me. Why does this have to be so complicated? We had plans for this last chapter of our lives. Remember we were going to sell the house, live six months in Mexico, and spend six months at the cabin? You lived your life for our family to be safe and happy. 

I've been so depressed since I got home from San Carlos. Tomorrow night, I have our two tickets for Tim McGraw. I bought those tickets for your birthday and looked forward to going with you. I will go by myself and I hope you show up to dance and sing with me. You and I have been to so many concerts, and one of your favorites was when we flew to Las Vegas to see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. You loved it because the venue was so small and intimate, with second-row tickets on the end seat, you got to shake Tim's hand. I'll never forget how big you smiled. I miss your smile and belly laughs. I kiss your pillow every night after I pray and then cry myself to sleep.

See You Soon

I love you so much, Monya